I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus
by Bra The Author-Girl-Type-Lady
Summary: Trunks tells a story of when he was younger and spotted Vegeta kissing Santa Claus... V/??? and a little bit of T/P, G/B, and M/U


"I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus"  
  
AN: I know I know, it's a little late for Christmas, but it occurred to me this morning when I was up (yes, I actually woke up before 2pm!) that this is a funny song. and well, the idea just kind of came to me. So Merry Belated Frikken Christmas! (I'm not a huge Christmas fan)  
  
This is a songfic of the song I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus. It has T/P, G/B, M/U, and V/?. However, it's not really about the romance between them, it just happens to be there. It's more of a disturbing thing. This is not for the lighthearted. It had implications of yaoi and cross-dressing and all that. So if you're "morally offended" by implications, then by all means flame me and what not. I really don't care. See this? This is me not caring. Hmm. anyway, back to the point of this - disturbing fic ahead!  
  
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**********  
  
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus  
  
Underneath the mistletoe last night  
  
He didn't see me creep  
  
Down the stairs to have a peep  
  
He thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep  
  
**********  
  
"It was Christmas Eve night and I was about five years old at the time. The lights were all out, and I still wasn't used to Capsule Corp's emptiness at night, even though I had lived there for so long. A tree outside of my window began bashing against the side of my room, and I got scared."  
  
"My big brother? Scared? HAHAHA!" Bra laughed hysterically. Pan joined in on the hysterics, as did Goten, Marron, and Ubuu. Their laughter mimicked the fire in front of them that cackled madly in the fireplace. Trunks frowned and continued anyway.  
  
**********  
  
Then I saw Daddy tickle Santa Claus  
  
Underneath his beard so snowy white  
  
There must be some mistake  
  
Was I really awake?  
  
I rubbed my eyes and moved in close, a better look to take'  
  
**********  
  
"I went to my parents' room so they would make everything better, but the door was locked! A dim light down the hall caught my eye, and I followed it slowly. It was the light of the tree downstairs. It was then that I remembered it was Christmas Eve. It occurred to me that Santa did something to my parents. I wanted to hurt Santa.  
  
**********  
  
Then I saw Daddy hugging Santa Claus  
  
He took his hand and moved him to the couch  
  
It must have been just fine  
  
Santa didn't seem to mind  
  
Then Daddy moved across the room to pour them both some wine  
  
**********  
  
"I heard a small noise downstairs and decided to creep up on the scary ol' prick. I slowly made my way to the edge of the staircase when I saw it. Santa had my father in a headlock! Or so I thought. I looked closer, and saw that dad was KISSING Santa Claus!"  
  
**********  
  
Then I saw Daddy tickle Santa Claus  
  
Underneath his beard so snowy white  
  
There must be some mistake  
  
Was I really awake?  
  
I rubbed my eyes and moved in close, a better look to take'  
  
**********  
  
"That's absurd!" Pan hit her boyfriend upside the head. "You know Vegeta would never do that!" He ignored her and kept on telling his story.  
  
"I didn't believe that my father would be making out with a fat old geezer, but I guess I was wrong. I saw him pull Santa over to him in a hug, like this," He reached over and grabbed Pan into a big bear hug. A shocked high-pitched sound erupted from Pan. Trunks let go of her.  
  
**********  
  
Then I saw Daddy fondle Santa Claus  
  
And on his ear he nibbled now and then  
  
I crawled across the floor  
  
I hid behind the door  
  
I left it open just a crack so I can watch some more  
  
**********  
  
"And THAT was what I heard. That was when I decided that Santa was a transvestite. I watched closer and closer as dad fondled Santa. A bottle of red wine had settled in Santa's right hand as my father continued to do some rather inappropriate things. Girlish giggles emerged from the home- wrecker.  
  
"Slowly but surely, the two drunken old guys removed each others' clothes."  
  
"TRUNKS!" Bra squealed, "I didn't need to know that!" She pouted and Goten brought her into a hug. She slammed her head against his rock- hard chest to get the disturbing images out of her head.  
  
"You're sick, Trunks." Ubuu informed him. Trunks smiled maniacally as he looked over and saw Bra continuing to try to rid her head of the disturbing thoughts.  
  
"I know. but anyway, back to the story. To this day, every Christmas Eve, father can be seen doing certain inappropriate things to Santa -"  
  
"BRAT!" A loud voice bellowed angrily. All colour fled from Trunks' face as he stood up and turned around ever so slowly. Bra turned around from her position in Goten's arms so she was facing the group again.  
  
"Dad. How long have you been standing there?" The 32 year old asked.  
  
"Long enough to know that you've been talking about me, BRAT!" Bra's giggles could be heard in the background. Vegeta's Saiyan hearing picked up it and he turned to her. "Quiet Princess!" He growled menacingly. Bra 'eeped' and turned back in Goten's grasp to hide her face in his chest again.  
  
"Ummm. dad. I." Trunks started to hyperventilate.  
  
"In the gravity room - NOW!" Vegeta yelled. Trunks bowed his head in shame as Vegeta followed him. When they reached the hall, a hand grabbed Vegeta's arm and pulled him into the dark closet.  
  
**********  
  
Then I saw Daddy undress Santa Claus  
  
They quickly threw their clothes on our big chair  
  
Well, much to my surprise  
  
I couldn't believe my eyes  
  
It wasn't Santa after all but Mommy in disguise!  
  
**********  
  
"Hehehe." The person chuckled as their soft hand brushed over Vegeta's face. "We've been found out." Vegeta grunted a response. Even in the dark, Vegeta's classic smirk could be seen.  
  
He pulled the other person close to him and enveloped them in a demanding kiss. When they finally broke apart for air, the two left the closet and went into the empty hallway.  
  
"I guess you'll have to be Santa from now on." The blue-haired minx winked as she walked off toward the kitchen. Vegeta grunted and gave the woman a quick kiss before stalking off to the Gravity Room.  
  
"AHHHHHH!" The screaming of three girls made Vegeta and the blue- haired woman spin around to face the doorway where the living room met the hallway.  
  
Bra, Marron, and Pan tumbled off of Goten's shoulders. Ubuu could be seen standing behind them, shaking his head in amusement. Bra, who had been on top of the totem pole, practically somersaulted until she finally landed at Vegeta's feet.  
  
"Hi dad. hi mom." Bra laughed nervously. Vegeta just grunted and strode off to meet Trunks in the Gravity Room. Bulma crossed her arms and tapped her foot expectantly at Bra.  
  
The young blue-haired girl crawled backward a bit before scrambling to her feet and running back into the living room. Marron and Pan followed suit. An embarrassed Marron dashed straight into Ubuu's arms and knocked him over.  
  
Bra sat in front of the fireplace and buried her head in her hands.  
  
"Ew ew ew ew." She could be heard repeating over and over again. "I did not need to know ANY of that. Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew."  
  
**********  
  
When I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus  
  
Underneath the mistletoe last night  
  
Oh, what a laugh it would have been  
  
If I had REALLY seen  
  
Daddy kissing Santa Claus last night!  
  
********** 


End file.
